Jannick – Part 1

Hello All,

      My latest post is the first installment of a story I will publish to you in serial style. I hope you enjoy. As always, please feed back to me your thoughts and criticisms.


                                                                    Tim Keen






                                                                                    Part 1


            “There is a shipment coming in tonight,” the voice on the other end of the phone line said.

            “Who is this?” Jannick asked, parting the shades to look out the window of his second story office. He didn’t expect to see anyone. Looking was merely a habit.

            “That is not important,” the voice replied. The harsh whisper in Jannick’s ear was clearly an attempt to disguise the voice. “Word on the street is that you are looking for Harwell.”

            “Is that so?” Jannick said. “I hadn’t heard that one! Did the word say why I might be looking for him?”

            “There’s a warehouse by the tracks in West End,” the voice continued. “I don’t care if you’re looking for him or not looking for him. The shipment will be there after nine pm tonight! The warehouse is not in use any more – except by Harwell and his people. It’ll be the only shipment in there.”

            There was a dull click in Jannick’s ear and the phone went dead with a buzz. Jannick put the phone on its cradle and checked the clock. It was just past noon, nine hours away from a trip to the warehouse he now knew he would make. The day that had been flying by on him now slowed to a crawl. Anticipation welled up inside of him.

            If I can get a shipment tied to him, I can nail that son of a bitch for good!

            The front door opened and rattled Jannick out of his daze. He looked up through his cigarette smoke and watched his secretary enter the front room carrying a sack of subs from the local deli.

            “Sorry,” Alice Woodard said as she sat the sack down on the table. “I was starving. I had to go get a bite!”

            “That’s quite alright,” Jannick said, stealing glances at her magnificent figure as she made her to her chair. “Did you happen to bring back an extra?”

            “Oh?” she said, pursing her lips in regret. “I am so sorry! I didn’t think at all! Do you want me to run back and get you something?”

            Helen Delaney had been gone for over a month now and there wasn’t a day he didn’t miss her. Helen was an absolute perfect secretary, sharp organized, a very effective manager of Jannick’s day-to-day operations. Even though it wasn’t in her job description, there was always coffee in the pot, beer in his refrigerator, and she never went out for lunch without bringing back something for him.

            In the two weeks since her hiring, the only thing Alice had proven to be superior to Helen at was having a dynamite body and dressing to accentuate it. Jannick wondered how long it would take that attribute to become poor compensation for her secretarial deficiencies.

            “That’s quite alright, Alice,” he said with a smile. “You don’t have to do that. Picking up my lunch is not part of the job. Anyway, I could stand to get out of this office. I think I’ll go down to Charley’s and have a couple of beers. I won’t be too long, though. I have an appointment later and I still want to go over your new filing system. It is important for me to know where things are in case you are not here!”

            “That’s fine, Boss,” she said. She looked at him with a frown. “You know, I just noticed that there are a lot of folders in that drawer marked “Harwell”. Is he some kind of special client or something?”

            The smile slipped away from Jannick’s face and his eyes darkened. He gave his newly hired secretary a stern look and a stiff response.

            “You never mind about the files on Harwell,” he said. “There is the work I do for other clients and then there is there are the files on Harwell. The files on Harwell are my business only. Is that clear?”

            “Sorry,” Alice said with sudden wide eyes. “I didn’t mean to pry!”

            “Well, you did!” he snapped. “Don’t do it again!”

            Jannick slammed the heavy door behind him and headed off for Charley’s. He had a lot of thinking to do between now and nine pm.


March 8, 2011

Tim Keen

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About timkeen40

When I was seven, I opened one of those little Golden Books (Lassie) and started copying the words down on paper and it set my soul on fire. I have been writing ever since. I don't know where this is going but I invite you along on the journey.
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34 Responses to Jannick – Part 1

  1. Love it! I’m already curious to know what happens next!

  2. Wil_Bill says:

    A bit of Dashel Hamel here. It’ll be fun to see what comes next!

  3. Steve Green says:

    A taste of possibly underhand dealings to come, I have a feeling that Alice is going to prove to be something a bit more complex than just a looker too.

    • timkeen40 says:

      You might be right, Steve. It is a possibility. I hope you will follow along. More importantly, I hope your following along proves to be worth your time. I will certainly give it my all.


  4. ok you got me… I just subscribed so I can keep reading and will know when the next installment comes. Thanks

  5. Teri C says:

    Intriguing story and now I have to subscribe also since I need to read the next installment also. I love these kind of books.

  6. writernubbin says:

    I just read the first part of this new story and I think you are off to a great start. I’m not qualified to offer much in the way of constructive criticism, but I do know what I like, and I like this story. Keep up the good work. I can hardly wait to read the next installment. Good work Tim! 🙂

    • timkeen40 says:

      I can’t ask for any better criticism than “I do know what I like and I like this story”. I can’t – and won’t even try – to improve upon that.

      Next installment is coming soon.

      Thanks so much!

  7. mairmusic says:

    Good start– I’m curious to read the rest.

  8. silvercannon says:

    Hi Tim–I’m ready to read the next bit….this is intriguing.

  9. wherewander says:

    I like the way you build your characters through the dialogue, giving the reader an idea about both personality and physical appearence. The first bit of the story is catching enough to make you want to read the second bit. Looking forward to the next!

  10. Thank you for dropping by…… You have Talent.. and a good starting chapter to want the reader to know more… have A peaceful Day..~ Dreamwalker~

  11. jennyozzy says:

    thats a good story when it leaves readers wanting more i cant wait must be exciting writing it xxjen

  12. chicasl10 says:

    Hi Tim Thats ur first name no??Its first time i come here and i must say its a pleasure
    first of all i want to read more of u I do that next weekend
    i see a couple of my friends here.
    i wish u the very best Ur good..yessssssssssssss

  13. It DOES have a noir-ish feeling to it…as does the opening scene in Jim Butcher’s debut novel “Storm Front.” Where is your story set, Tim?

  14. Galit Breen says:

    I’m hooked! I loved how well you developed the secretary’s character, down to always having beer in the fridge! That was a nice touch. 🙂

  15. penpusherpen says:

    HI Tim,
    I read to the end of this first parter without realising it was the end, I just wanted to keep on going … so I will, onto part 2…x

  16. earlybird says:

    I guess I’d better subscribe to keep up with the story! Tiny typo here ““There is the work I do for other clients and then there is there are the files on Harwell. “

  17. Jessica says:

    Finally remembered to drop by! Thought I better read Part 1 first too. Good start! I do like reading detective/thriller books for a diversion from my studies so I enjoyed drifting into your created world. keep it going!

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