Here’s a little something different from me. I hope you like it.
What Are You Afraid Of?
I lie curled up in my bed
Against the dark of the night
Tight beneath my covers
I shiver from my fright
And though it hear it, I won’t look
Afraid of what I might find
It scratches at my door
The fear that haunts my mind
Tim Keen
8-17-11
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nice! tq for coming by my blog..
Thanks for the look.
Tim
I really liked this.- love these 2 lines.
It scratches at my door
The fear that haunts my mind
Thanks. I am glad you liked it.
Tim
Nice. I really like the imagery.
I hate to mention it because I enjoyed this, but I should point out that the line “And though I hear it, I won’t look” has one too many syllables to maintain the seven/six/seven/six doublet scheme I think you were attempting. If you forgo the “And” part I think this would be perfect.
I am glad you liked it. I do appreciate the input. It is something I am not used to. I’ll take any help I can get.
Thanks,
Tim
this is my kind of blog scarey the unknown is what we fear most and what is it scratching at the door GO LOOK tim lol loved it xxjen
Thanks, Jenny, for the reply. I probably would go look, truth be known.
Tim
I’m no expert on form, so I can’t help you there. But, as a child who WAS visited by a monster, I can relate to the fear and it’s all too real. Nice depiction, Tim, and it’s not always in your mind! Peace, Amy
Amy,
My whole life has been about not caring about form, just what matters. I had my own nightmares come true when I was a child and, with a lot of help, I managed to survive them. I even got stronger for my struggles. I hope you did as well.
Thanks for taking the time.
Tim
I think we all fear the Unknown… Tim… Nice little poem.. Wishing you a Great Weekend.
Thanks, Sue. Have a great weekend as well.
Tim
fear of mind is most haunting …well said …
Thanks. I am glad you liked it. Poetry is not my strongsuit. It was just something that came to me, one of those little thunderbolts that I have written about in the past on this blog. I don’t question them, I just write them down.
Tim
I like it Tim. You might want to adjust this line “And though it hear it, I won’t look”. Also, the poet Jessie Carty has a blog where she does a Thursday poemshare. It’s fun and you get a lot of great feedback.
Great advice, Tammy. I know practically nothing of structured poetry. The only experience I have had with poetry is in the songs that I have helped my friend write and, of course, there are no rules when it comes to writing a song. It just has to sound good.
Thanks, Tim
I really like this! And, me too on the no rules for poetry thing. 😉
Becky,
Thanks for the reply. I think when it comes to writing anything fiction there can be no rules. If you add rules then it just becomes a memo. Have you ever been inspired by, danced to or sang along with a memo?
Glad you stopped by.
Tim
Chilling piece – so reflective of many fears we turn from. Loved this!
Thanks, Angela. Sorry for being late in my reply to you. I am happy that you liked it.
Tim
I’ve felt this way. Too timid to face fears, too afraid to look away. This short poem has so much resting on so few words. Very, very nice.
Thanks, Bill. The poems really are a new thing to me, but it is fun to get a lot of idea into a little bit of words.
Tim
hi hope you have a lovely weekend tim xxjen
Jen,
You have a great weekend as well. Thanks for your support.
Tim
Okay, you officially gave me the chills with this one 🙂 Great poem and very well written! I enjoyed it a lot. Peace, Terri
Terri,
I am glad you liked it. Thanks for taking the time to drop by. I hope you will again.
Tim
Yes I have enjoyed the read on this one my friend
and I will return and read your most recent offering,
I am a tad behind with all of my friends, but I will be
calling back to read further postings that you have
offered here within your Space…
This one is a brilliant post Tim…
Androgoth
As always, I am glad you stopped by. I hope I hold your attention.
https://timkeen40.wordpress.com
You mean a GREAT change of pace, don’t you? This rocked!
Thanks so much. Maybe I will try more in the future.
Tim
I was like that when i was a kid, only if something scratched on my door at that time i would have died out of sheer fright.
I slept upstairs in a house that was not very well built and fifty years old by the time that I moved in to it. Since the foundation sat on pillar blocks instead of concrete, it was constantly settling, shifting. It was constanly creaking and popping. Sometimes I would lay awake in bed at night and the house would settle in such a way that it would sound as if someone were walking up the steps. It was very creepy.
Thanks,
Tim
this is a good one!
I am glad you liked it. Thanks for the looksee.
Tim
Nice work….it scratches at my door the fear that haunts my mind…..fear can be so debilitating.