I hope you enjoy this little poem. It came to me from out of the blue. I not much of a structured poet, so any criticisms are welcomed.
The Dance
Fantasy surrounds reality and rules the night
Reality starts at day, spread its wings and takes to flight
This dance they have shared since the dawn of time
This dance they have shared in this mind of mine
Peel back these layers, take a peek, and share this writer’s plight
Tim Keen
1-1-2012
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i think its a sweet little poem. i get it.
k*
Thanks for reading.
Tim
I like it, and it makes sense to me. 🙂
This is lovely, Tim! I like the “movement” in it. I would love to see it a bit longer, though! Maybe elaborate a bit more on the many layers that comprise fantasy and reality!
I know what you mean about poem just “popping up” in our minds. I have long said that there are poems that I write, and there are the poems that I write down!
Have a great 2012! – and bring me lots of great writing in it to enjoy!
Paula,
The same can be said with the stories that I write. The best ones just come to me. The others are maybe technically just as good, but they always seemed a little forced on my part.
As I continue to work on my poetry, perhaps my poems will get longer.
Thanks for coming by,
Tim
A good glimpse at the cycle we face each day.
Yes, I think so as well. Thanks for stopping by and have a good new year.
Tim
Well, I thought it was pretty darn good!! 🙂 Blessings, Terri
Thanks, Terri. I am glad you liked it.
Tim
Glad you took the time to write it down.
I like this very much. I love your enthusiasm. Lovely. Debra
Thanks, Debra. Glad you stopped by.
Excellent! I’m still waiting for the day my humor essays come “out of the blue” like that.
Thanks for read. I am glad you liked it.
very beautiful tim. reality and dreams dance, twirl and swirl in every mind i guess.
Some find the fantasy a perfect place from the reality of what they’re trying to get away from. I love how you depicted that it’s not a modern problem with this line, “This dance they have shared since the dawn of time.”
There’s a lack of punctuation. I don’t know if that’s how you want the poem to be read, to be felt.
Thank you, appllorose. I am glad you liked the poem.
I am a novice when it comes to poetry. The lack of punctuation is totally my lack of knowledge, so you are correct. The way I wrote it was the way I felt it, the way it was sent to me.
Thank you so much for spending your time with me.
Tim
All the best in the talent that you’re beginning to mold. 🙂
Happy New Year Tim…. wishing you a great 2012… Lovely poem.. I know I am often inspired and given Gems of Poetry especially in the middle of the night.. I often wake up inspired and keep note book at the side of my bed… Loved this gift… we all wake up to a new day and weave it into our reality… Take care.. ~Sue
Sue,
I should keep a notebook, a recorder or something else with me. I have lost so many ideas and thoughts just because I couldn’t write them down. The gifts are there for but a second and then they are gone.
Thanks for stopping by.
Tim
It makes perfect sense to me. The Portuguese word is Madrugada – that’s what this reminded me of.
Thanks, Tammy. I don’t know that I have ever had a dialouge with someone who knew even one word of Portuguese until now. I do love this blogging world. Have a great new year.
Tim
You should write some more poetry Tim and
expand your thought processes 🙂 🙂 This is a
nice entry into your Space…
Have a great start to your Tuesday Tim 🙂
Androgoth
Thank you, Andro. I might give the poetry thing a little more time.
Have a great start to your Tuesday as well.
Tim
I have just read this one again and you have done
really well with it, I wouldn’t wish to criticise anyone’s
work to be honest as we all write rather differently.
Structure is the key that will make a good poem
into a great poem so that’s what I think my friend,
in other words, always look at the finished piece
and try rearranging the words used, even changing
certain parts to add depth or a deeper meaning 🙂
Have a great rest of day Tim and enjoy every moment 🙂
Androgoth
Thanks as always.
Tim
I will be calling back
to read some more Tim 🙂
In the meantime keep
up the great work 🙂
Androgoth
I like this poem, well done. I especially like that last line…
“Peel back these layers, take a peek, and share this writer’s plight”
It is what I hope for 🙂
I am happy you stopped by and took time to leave a comment for me, Thank You!
You are welcome to stop by Ravenwood…anytime.
Thanks, Raven. I am glad you liked what you read. I will be sure to stop by and keep up with your post.
Tim
This reminds me of a particular line from a particular song. . . “Qui peut dire le faus et le reel? ” Great imagery — nicely done.
faux (I self-edit a lot.) 🙂
Interesting piece, Tim!
this was so wonderful .. really loved the whole mood 🙂
Thank you.
Tim
Enjoyed this so much. It’s good to see you again, Tim, and to know you’re still writing fiction.
Thank you. It was good to visit you blog once again.
Tim