Another of my meager attempts at poetry. I hope you like it.
Pity
I pity you, you poor insatiable fool
I pity your greed, your need, the flesh for which you drool
I gave it my best, I passed the tests and did so all the while
Not knowing your other side, the one that was so vile
The woman, the girl that you sought over me
Is floating in our pool
She is dead and I have roamed so far from our home
I laugh at you, you little gnome
I laugh at your greed, your need, for tonight you sleep alone
4-15-12
Tim Keen
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Pretty good, if you ask me!
Then I ask you and accept your judgment. Thanks for looking in. It means a lot.
Tim
🙂
Good one!
very well said tim.
Thank you.
Tim
wickedness impersonified- no wonder he ran away from her.
Soooo… she killed her. The other woman? Just my interpretation.
I enjoyed it 🙂 Thanks for the comment and visit!
Whew! The most violent reaction to rejection. You have that fiction writer imagination, Tim. Blessings – Maxi
Thanks, Maxi. I am glad you liked it. Yeah, I write a little fiction here and there.
Tim
Hi,
Very well written, and more than just a poem I think, I could easily picture the whole scene. Well done.
I appreciate that. Thank you for stopping by. I hope you come back.
Tim
Hi Tim. I enjoyed your poem… didnt end as Id expected 😉 But you got my imagination going which is the point of a good poem or story..
Wishing you well.. ~Sue
Thanks, Sue.
Intense! I liked it.
Where are you, Tim Keen … long time no see … I so value your input … http://catsruledogsdroole.blogspot.com/ love, cat.
I did like you poem and was positively surprised by the ending. Very well written.
Thanks munchow. I don’t consider myself much of a poet. Things just come to me from time to time and I have to put them on paper – or cyber paper, I guess.
Tim
Ewww…this builds darkness and a monstrous surprise. Good one, Tim.
You, as one of my followers, are cordially invited to my darker and a little more personal blog: http://nothobblingnow.wordpress.com/
I think it’s good! I only dabble in poetry for fun, so I’m no expert nor even a good reviewer. But I liked the rhythm and the dark tone. Well done!
Meager?
Far from it!