Another of my meager attempts at poetry. I hope you like it.



I pity you, you poor insatiable fool

I pity your greed, your need, the flesh for which you drool

I gave it my best, I passed the tests and did so all the while

Not knowing your other side, the one that was so vile

The woman, the girl that you sought over me

Is floating in our pool

She is dead and I have roamed so far from our home

I laugh at you, you little gnome

I laugh at your greed, your need, for tonight you sleep alone




Tim Keen





About timkeen40

When I was seven, I opened one of those little Golden Books (Lassie) and started copying the words down on paper and it set my soul on fire. I have been writing ever since. I don't know where this is going but I invite you along on the journey.
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23 Responses to Pity

  1. Bird says:

    Pretty good, if you ask me!

  2. pattisj says:

    Good one!

  3. Sharmishtha says:

    wickedness impersonified- no wonder he ran away from her.

  4. mysterycoach says:

    Soooo… she killed her. The other woman? Just my interpretation.

  5. I enjoyed it 🙂 Thanks for the comment and visit!

  6. Maxi says:

    Whew! The most violent reaction to rejection. You have that fiction writer imagination, Tim. Blessings – Maxi

  7. magsx2 says:

    Very well written, and more than just a poem I think, I could easily picture the whole scene. Well done.

  8. Hi Tim. I enjoyed your poem… didnt end as Id expected 😉 But you got my imagination going which is the point of a good poem or story..
    Wishing you well.. ~Sue

  9. cat says:

    Where are you, Tim Keen … long time no see … I so value your input … http://catsruledogsdroole.blogspot.com/ love, cat.

  10. munchow says:

    I did like you poem and was positively surprised by the ending. Very well written.

    • timkeen40 says:

      Thanks munchow. I don’t consider myself much of a poet. Things just come to me from time to time and I have to put them on paper – or cyber paper, I guess.


  11. souldipper says:

    Ewww…this builds darkness and a monstrous surprise. Good one, Tim.

  12. The Hobbler says:

    You, as one of my followers, are cordially invited to my darker and a little more personal blog: http://nothobblingnow.wordpress.com/

  13. 4amWriter says:

    I think it’s good! I only dabble in poetry for fun, so I’m no expert nor even a good reviewer. But I liked the rhythm and the dark tone. Well done!

  14. The Hook says:

    Far from it!

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