When He Was Done

 

Okay, I know. I am breaking the rules again. The experts tell me that when posting with the goal of getting people to read my fiction that I should never, ever post with original fiction. So, let me get this straight. If I want you to read my fiction and potentially buy my fiction, the last thing I should do is post my fiction where you can read it.

     What?

Alright, I am making fun of some very smart people, some of whom are actually making a living writing. I do pay attention to what they say every chance I get, but the bottom line to all of this comes down to two things:

I have never been a big fan of rules when it comes to writing, especially fiction. Anything goes as long as it is good. I see no reason not to apply that to blogging as well.

I write fiction. That’s what I do. While I try occasionally to draw you in with other posts, my life is not nearly interesting enough for posting week after week. I must rely on what the good Lord set down in my bones.

 

Anyway, enough rambling. Please enjoy the story below. If you like it, please spread the word. If you do not like it, then please keep quiet and pretend like you never read it and don’t know who I am.

 

Thanks,

Tim

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When He Was Done

 

He rose from her, panting, his heart still racing, pumping blood that warmed him from the inside out. He kissed her gently on the top of the forehead, promised he’d only be a minute and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Work was less than six hours away and the shower would help get him to sleep.

“I’ll sleep good with her by my side tonight,” he whispered to himself as he closed the door to the bathroom.

As he stepped under the lukewarm spray, a smile parted his lips. Who’d ever thought it would come to this? She was just some girl he had known here and there, a place to lay his head when there was no other place. But now it was this! Incredible! That’s what it was. Just incredible!

“You know what I was thinking,” he said as he came back into the bedroom now dressed in his robe and ready for bed. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her standing dressed in the middle of his bedroom, looking at him with a smirk on her face.

“What were you thinking?” she asked. “Or are you able to think at all now that the blood has rushed from that little thing between your legs?”

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I remember the last time you were at my place,” she said. “When we were done, you beat a path to my front door like you had contracted some kind of disease from me. You got what you wanted and you were gone. Just like that. Now, I have gotten what I wanted and I am gone.”

“Okay,” he said. He didn’t see this coming and didn’t know what else to say. “I can drive you if you like.”

“No,” she said. “That’s alright. I can manage on my own. I just have one question for you.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“How does it feel to just be used for sex?” Her eyes were afire. She was angry. “How does it feel to be a booty call?”

Part of him wanted to tell her how he felt, what the real motivation behind the spur of the moment call to her but he didn’t. A bigger part of him, or a smaller part of him maybe, just wouldn’t allow his true feelings to show through. Ten minutes ago he really thought he was ready, but now, in the face of her anger, he wondered if he would ever be ready.

“Answer me, asshole!” she demanded. “How does it feel to be used just for sex?”

He shrugged, then he smiled.

“Felt pretty damned good,” he said. “Stop by anytime you feel like a booty call.”

His face was still stinging from the slap across the face when he heard the door slam. That door slam had a sound of finality to it, like she would never slam it again because she was so over him.

He doubted she was over him just yet, but she would be soon enough. She was strong like that. Always had been. She had to be to put up with an asshole like him. She wouldn’t waste any more tears on him than necessary, then she would move on.

It wouldn’t be that easy for him. He had played the tough guy for way too long. Treated her like the booty call she clearly was not to him. She had been once, but she was more than that to him now. Had been for some time.

“Still,” he said aloud to an empty room. “You didn’t let her know that, did you? Couldn’t let her know. What is wrong with you?”

Now she was gone.

Another good one was gone.

How many had it been? Too many too count. One after another, really, and he had to ask himself a question. Was it getting easier or harder to lose see them go?

He didn’t have an answer for that question.

He took off his robe, got in bed and turned out the light.

He had less than six hours to go before he had to be at work.

His cheek was still stinging from the slap, everything else was still ringing from her leaving. He had no one to blame but himself.

Shit!

 

Tim Keen

June 12, 2016

 

For more stories like this please check out my Kindle book After Hours. Thanks.

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About timkeen40

When I was seven, I opened one of those little Golden Books (Lassie) and started copying the words down on paper and it set my soul on fire. I have been writing ever since. I don't know where this is going but I invite you along on the journey.
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18 Responses to When He Was Done

  1. Just Joan says:

    Great example of tables turned. I like how you return to the “just 6 hours until he had to be a work” with a completely different attitude. Well done.
    BTW, I’ve gotten the same advice from people about sharing stuff on my blog–that people won’t buy what they can get for free. My main goal isn’t making money, but to share and feel like I’ve made a connection. To me, that is success. If you share now, maybe people will remember your name when your book comes out. Good luck! 🙂

  2. prenin says:

    Well written Tim. 🙂

    Relationships sometimes tend to go that way unfortunately… 😦

    God Bless!

    Prenin.

  3. timkeen40 says:

    Thanks as always, Prenin. Have a good day.

  4. smilecalm says:

    another perfect love
    gone wrong 🙂

  5. Very good Tim…pace, ‘capture’ from the first word and content…..X

  6. Oh dear, the perils of misunderstandings and not saying what you feel.

  7. Marquessa says:

    Nicely done! I enjoyed your fiction. Where did you read about “not posting original work”? Curious…

  8. Sue Ranscht says:

    Lol! I agree with your analysis of conventional wisdom regarding sharing your fiction. Do you suppose the reason might be to avoid public critique? Of course, those same smart people advise finding critique partners, with whom, naturally, writers would share their fiction.

    I like your story. It rings true, and yet there are some niggling issues I would recommend a bit of editing/re-writing to resolve. However, your final introductory comment seems to un-invite critique, so I shall, as you say, keep quiet. But that’s not enough to prevent me from following your blog — and expecting you to include your fiction. 😉

  9. AnnIsikArts says:

    This could be the beginning of a wonderful romance, you know. On not posting fiction – when I’m writing I sometimes post a small excerpt. Why not? 🙂

  10. Hi Tim,
    Well done! I’ve long past the dating scene, but you captured the culture of “hooking up” perfectly. Or, so I’m told. Enjoyed the story. @sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles

  11. Bumba says:

    Good for you! I started the blog with a plan to sell my fiction, and I have written all sorts of short pieces, humorous pieces, math and science essays, plus music and anything else that came up. I must say, tho, that these efforts haven’t sold my books at all.

  12. I enjoyed the story, Tim. I never heard the advice that fiction writers shouldn’t post their fiction. That seems silly. Keep posting your fiction, and Happy Writing 🙂

  13. Little Voice says:

    Welcome Tim, to that little voice. Thank you for following my blog.

  14. Barbara says:

    I really enjoyed this story. He got his just desserts I thought. However, there was an “until the next time” ringing in my ear. I am not a writer, I like to proofread but never had any confidence in my own writing. Well done for putting your fiction out there.

    • timkeen40 says:

      Thank you for taking the time to read and provide feedback. As a writer, I need the constant criticism and observations from people who like to read, people who know what they like in a story. It means a lot.

      Tim

  15. magsgn says:

    You showed us so many things in such a short time :-). Well written

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